Practice

we are here to live as love

have i written that already?
i am sure.
it is everything.

sitting in ceremony last night i was holding you in my heart.
spirit is showing me the ways of healing, of moving energy in the body,
the language of pattern and color and essence and shape.
tone, harmony, melody, vibration.
the ways of knowing are written in our bodies.
the stories are carved in all creation.
we see by refining this ability to listen. to listen deeply..

what we do day to day, moment to moment,
moves much farther than the confines of our bodies, our families, our homes.
how we live moves across the whole fabric of being.
we are each
thread.
each stone, sound, grain of sand and earth, molecule of air, drop of water and leaf, flower and branch, root; animal of wing, of hoof, of fin, is part.

heart

how do we live from the heart?
in ceremony, in prayer.
by living every day as prayer, by making our lives ceremony for the gift of existence

in every action, every breath, every word uttered, each glance, and hand laid
acknowledge all that is.
bear witness, cultivate that which draws forth ever more clarity and patience and compassion.

we are living reflections. what are we calling out in one another?
i am holding this mirror up to myself, up to you.
the teachings of the earth are within us.

we are composed of spirit and spaciousness.

let the songs of the ancestors be known
there is not a single reason to perpetuate suffering
all is holy
learn to hold the shadow with light
love both
we are all of it

in a deep recognition for true meaning of family, teacher, growth,
i sing the highest praises for you, my community
in our process of learning we are dynamic beauty
nourished by the warmth of the sun, the glow of the moon, the gleam of a thousand stars burning
may we weave the threads of our lives into a web that holds, supports, and gives life.
i give thanks for the presence of you in my life.

have i written that already?

i will say again, you mean so much to me.
in the walk of holding ourselves as beloved, we live as the great lover.
in all we do, may we live in the sacred.
naming the nameless, shaping form to that which is formless.
may we embody the spirit.
to live in awareness is to live in love.

spirit moves in each of us.
show up.
keep showing up.
listen.

the medicine for what ails you is already here. the truth is here. healing and wellness and capacity for greatness is here. it is our birthright.

we are instruments, born from the singing for that which is alive and moving.
we are born of music.
as we tune our heartstrings, we perform a spiritual chiropractic to align mind and body with our deepest self
spirit be alive in us. move us, walk with us.

may we be unafraid. may we be courageous in our learning, may we open to allow the light of love to shine through us, fill us, and flow throughout our lives, all our relations, and all the land.

I bow in reverence to the Divine that lives within myself
I bow in reverence and thanks to the Divine that lives in you
I pray for the balance of heart and mind
I bless the union of the heart and mind
I honor and acknowledge this walk in practice, of seeking beauty.
Om Namah Shivaya
Om Mani Padme Hum

great writers don’t edit (the heart)

honing the skills
to speak what is alive in my soul
in the practice of wordcraft
i cultivate the boldness to walk
in freedom from fear
to represent life and live as truth

Deeper, please. Do not be afraid

Keep
breathing

it really is
all about breath

Breath is the most innate wisdom of body in action
uninhibited breath is opening, balancing, creating space
freedom in breath calls us into this moment
and sheds light of understanding on everything in view

Breath is life
it is the exquisite union of our bodies and the universe
it is how we are alive and connected, how we are one
With every single breath
we merge with the world

When we breathe consciously,
acknowledging all that we are
our breathing is a prayer that is so alive
that it goes on and on and on
and with this we can do anything, heal anything, be anything

in fear, keep breathing
in overwhelming recognition, keep breathing
in pain, keep breathing
in the heights of love, keep breathing
it's okay, let it all out
it's okay, let it all in

in everything, keep breathing
this is the practice of presence

how are you breathing?

Do it now: breathe deep and full into your heart and belly
and seat of your spine
and know
the Divine flows within you
everything has purpose
you are capable of your wildest dreams

when we allow what is and hold everything with love
we shine and our light pervades all

how we breathe is how we live

It doesn't matter

We all wake up, sometime
Some people rise before dawn
Others sleep in
Some need a crazy loud alarm
But eventually,
We all wake up

Thankfully, existence has enough forgiveness
If we miss the beauty of the sunrise because
we haven't fallen in love with love just yet

She waits; we all come, eventually

Words run through me

Maybe it’s the full moon
that has got me all wild eyed and crazy tonight

This lilting tune she’s whistling…
has me spouting poetry left and right

I can’t help but get out of bed
and dance

Words run through me
like salmon in the river,
swimming swiftly with the sea in their blood

This is the cultivation of articulation

I draw arrows fitted together of image and metaphor from my quiver,
pluck the string of my bow teasing its ability,
for I and she are but instruments
These offerings are gifted from the Goddess

I shoot from the heart, and I aim for the heart
These arrows leave my mouth and soar,
singing for love of the moon, the sun, the stars
and all that basks in the glow above and below.

If one day dictionaries and thesauruses split their seams
and fly off the shelves bursting with thousands of newborn expressions
in ecstatic and overflowing praise for the Divine
I will be there to pick up the pieces of color and shape
and sound and sensation and I will weave
illustrious and vibrant tapestries of context for the seen and the unseen,
and especially for this feeling inside that makes me swoon to be alive.

Often I have wished that we had more language
to speak adequately to the glory of this existence
I used to get quite sad about it

But now I realize, the whole point in this seeming lack
of expanse in prose to capture this bliss is so
we can have so much fun falling over ourselves trying

Speaking to Love : Prayers for the Sacred

the majesty of creation that we are:
microcosm of the whole of existence,
We are here to live as Prayer
Yes:
Living,
Breathing
Prayer

The time of fighting and distrust and hurt
that has been moving through us
for the last thousands of years is coming to an end
let us continue to cull from our lives that which does not serve us
all existence offers her embrace
in the coming together of WE
the sicknesses of our people are leaving as we remember
who We are
indeed, all that is hurting us now was born of the lack of love
this is a time of great healing;
the sweet wellness we know in our souls
is growing as we pray

as we open our hearts to faith
cultivate the courage to shine in our authenticity
stand steadfast in love
speak truth, act in patience and compassion
we bless ourselves, we bless all that is
and we are blessed in return

the sacred is alive everywhere
this universe exists and thrives on love
let us nourish Spirit with our praise and exaltation

in all we do, may we move towards what is beautiful
carry reverence for the Divine with every step,
feed the sacred with music and dance
lace shimmering fibers of spoken word and lyric sung
through the core of our being
let us lift our voices, make offerings of tone in humming,
give rhythm in drumming, beat feathers against air,
burn sacred smoke.

this transformation we are in
is an awakening to again acknowledge and honor beauty,
and adorn all that is with love

by doing what we love
and loving all we do
honing our skills in craft, cultivating mastery in how we live
as we offer praise for all that is holy, we are made holy
We are made whole

let us return to the source, rest in the stillness of love
to invoke ever deepening presence
this is time for us to initiate one another

may we gather in celebration
may we be steeped in glory
in the temple of the body may we walk with grace

in the naming of the Sacred,
offering eloquent language in thanks for all that is
we sing life into being
may these flowers of gratitude drop from our lips,
fertilize the barren soil of the earth,
and soak the parched desert of our souls
all of life is inviting us to remember our divinity
to awaken and partake in the abundance and communion that is ours

She told me: keep speaking to love, and never cease. Truth be alive in me

I am so blessed.
Deep clarity, understanding and acceptance am I
Courageous brilliant shining star am I
Wise that I am beautiful, organically
Thank you Kate for writing that line

Goddess am I
Warrior am I
Light am I
Priestess am I

I bless myself
I am walking the way Spirit moves me
I regret nothing

I honor myself, the universe in me, the God in me
I am held in love
I am doing exactly what I am here to do, to be
and I am supported

All my relations and all that moves, walks with me
I love my family, my blood, my community, my sisters, brothers:
peers, teachers, tribe

I am here to live in the light, and like feeds like
I give thanks for the presence of all of you in my life

What amazing transformations have moved in me this year
I continue to be humbled
and assured that I am beauty,
I am worthy

eu me ilumino de imensidao

walking these roads of prayer and healing and trust
i have received so much affirmation and support for this journey
to keep returning to love

solid in my solitude, wise that i am beautiful
i am shedding skins

we are
these masks we are taking off; we are peeling back the layers


what is unfolding is greater than us
the healing is for all of us
the love is for all of us

keep shining, keep showing love
the truth is always witnessed
even in times when it seems unseen

truth will become known
even if it takes as long as until death
truth reveals itself in the end

my heart has broken
so i can crack it open and let the light shine in
i'm letting the light in

rebel haiku

oh tarantula,

you are more a small mammal

than anything else.


(thinking of the gila)

morning star

I am the morning star
I am the daughter of love

When I accept existence
I feel the embrace of the whole universe
I illuminate myself with immensity
I illuminate myself with love

In the silence of my being
In this divine mystery of love
I am the source of the love in my heart
I am the queen of this flower
I am a star of love
***

andar com fe

walk with faith I will
for faith does not fail

faith is in the woman
faith is in the coral serpent
in a piece of bread
faith is in the tide
in the blade of a dagger
in the light, in the darkness

walk with faith I will

faith is in the morning
faith is in the night fall
in the summer heat
faith is alive and same
faith is also in dying

walk with faith I will
***

seres vivos da floresta

living beings of the forest
come to illuminate me
I'm here singing
I'm open to heal myself

the forest brings mysteries
and we ask for your protection
our fears go away
and our hearts are opening

every light is being revealed
we understand that love is everything
the clarity arrives
and now I know I can fly
***

do sol vos nasce a luz

Your light is born of the sun,
And in this amazing blue
You are the moon and you are Queen
You are the brilliance, you are the brilliance
You are brilliance and flower of the ocean.

I keep following this road
In this house I will arrive
This is the house of truth
That in this world I found

In my heart I carry steadiness
And in the Divine, in the heights
This is the house of truth
It is perfection, it is perfection
It is perfection of great beauty
***

chama

i call you in the force of the wind
to teach me
to flow the way you flow in this element
the wisdom of our love
i call you in the force of the waters
to connect me to the emotions
the element in which you flow
i want to learn to forever be

i call you in the force of the stones
to silence me
in the depths of your mystery
patience to hear you
i call you in the force of the earth
to be fertilized by your love
light- in the infinity of our mystery
intuition always in creation

i call you in the force of the fire
so that i may learn
from the courage in which you flow
to be a warrior reflecting in your mirror
love without fear
and in the earth a flame burning inside
nourished by the force of the wind

oh, force of the wind that scatters
the seeds on this earth
that receives the waters from the sky
leaving the soil richer
may the fruits of the earth blossom
filling our eyes
force of the wind that nourishes
eternal flame burning inside

***the above starred posts are
translations of portugese songs i am learning

there is the honey and there are bears, but we don't have to be afraid

she's whispering "it's okay love, it's okay love"

it is

drops of the honey nectar are brewing in my soul
hands uplifted
i offer
i accept
i breathe
i am here
i am always here

the web is woven and woven undone

breath catching
it's sometimes so much to bear

this river running through me
shadow and light

there is water
there is water
there is shadow in the forest
there is light in my heart

rest into stillness, daughter of light
lay your body against the earth

love will guide
love will lead
love will illuminate

in the sanctuary of my stillness I am love

my heart is in Gila

a desert sunrise
you warm my soul
painting me in shades of clay,
covering me whole
here i'm a lizard
sunbathing in your radiance

oh i come out of hiding
so sweet,
so sweet you are

if i could only have a taste
wrap my lips around your flavor
just because you are you
just because you are so beautiful

a desert sunset
a lullaby
i would give it all to you
if you'd only let me try

to sing so sweet
it's my only wish
music drips from your lips
like sweet sips of a summer's kiss
summer raindrops are precious..
tongues twist

a desert moonrise
into the night
before i lay my head
i wish to walk under the starlight

and sing so sweetly
it's the sweetest sound
and i become weak in the knees
and i drop down and kiss the ground

and all my cares lie far below
in this earth i wish to die
in this hearth my fire grows


a song by brett dennan

the ocean luminous (ebb and flow)

Five days on the river. Step by step moving into the open land, away from the sparse population of houses and cars, until I climb up onto the mesa and see the specks of what remains vanishing over my shoulder. We left the back way, meaning through the back of the land to the river, never needing to set foot on the roads at all.

For five days I have been in the next level of my education.
Spirit is revealing so much to me; layer by layer I am infused with this teaching, until I crack open, shed my skin and in this new body watch and listen anew. And again. And again. And again. And again.

Serpent swallowing it's tail is what this time and space is. I spiral into myself and spiral out to dive deep into the chocolate pools of the Gila nestled in the canyons.

These footpaths become faint at times, hidden in the willow, banks and river crossings. This land has welcomed me and invited me deeper, deeper, deeper.
The old people of this place have a great presence still. Their caves still bear the black of their fires on the ceilings, their handholds for drilling those fires lay among the stones; their pottery is here, their saved corn seeds are here.

I'm learning that healing comes with the asking, and relations with the plants through courtship. Fear draws energy out and disperses it. Trust is patiently blowing on the embers with a steadfast focus; tending the fire.
And humility. All this is me only as much as it flows though me. When we are open and willing to walk the path of the gifts given to us, all benefits. The way opens before me when I am fully accepting what is mine to live.

Song to the rattlesnake I sing, I chant for the faith I have in the medicines of this Earth. For the fears of loss and falling that I lay down again and again. For the trust that this is all a great lesson and gift. For my intention to walk through it all. Body and spirit and heart and mind.

Red dock, chapparal, turpentine bush, the wild artemesia, rabbitbush, cypress, white sage and pitch. I cut my thumb deeply with my knife, the most severe injury I have ever incurred, an injury not warranted by just cutting wool. Any more, and I would have much less thumb. Any less, and I don't think I could have seen what I did about fear and faith in the abundance and care the earth provides. In the modern world we have now I would have needed a lot of stitches. These plants, astringent and hemostatic and antimicrobial are walking with me. My blood gushed out onto the ground. I was afraid. A day's walk of steady walking away from "medical care" my mind spun "what if, what if, what if..."

These plants offered their protection; I asked. There has been no swelling, there is no open gash. It is much trickier to type and I have to take care in all my activities to allow this healing. Wrapped in purple cloth I am hitchhiking through the desert, in the river, hitchhiking everywhere. Or I was, until today when it feels fine to have my thumb hang downward.

On the other side, two dear friends of mine who have chosen to walk steadily in simplicity had to go to the hospital this week to deliver their baby that would not come otherwise, then accept heavy medication for fatally dangerous arterial clotting. If not for western medicine, would they be alive and recovering now? Have we known how to treat the most acute and serious cases before but forgotten the way?

We are magic, we are as limitless as we allow ourselves, and we are masters of manifestation. I truly believe we are capable of anything. And, mastery comes with practice, devotion and balance. Holding our highest vision in one hand and allowing what is in the other. I find I cannot evolve and transform if I do not hold space for myself in the places I would rather not be. We can keep our hearts soft and allow what we feel, experience, and have available to us. Love it, care for it, shape it, learn from it.

For all this unfolding and flight on the wings of dream, and for all who walk with me I give honor and thanks.

This week and yesterday

Being here is so wonderful.
I am spending a lot of time with myself: letting go, opening, breathing, meditating.

The hills started to burn a few days ago, the sun scorching the land to the point that dry underbrush catches fire. The horizons were smudged with a smoky haze that trapped the heat down against the valley in a sort of dry-humid way. Then on the 4th the first rain came, hard and long. I was at a party when it finally began after hours of dark clouds churning and strong, dust-whipping winds. The energy of the group was frenetic and excited as it all came pouring down.

I am so grateful to be living in practice and play with Samuel and Kate:
my sweet rockstar superhero friends, who are also human and sometimes bicker and get snappy with each other. I get an up-close view here, sharing life so intimately with them.
This is very timely as I have been reflecting on my own relationship and the ways we can be less than our greatest.

I am continually perplexed to see that we are the most easily irritated and hurtful towards the people closest to us. Those we love the most get to experience our darkest aspects, as we witness theirs. This exchange, though painful and challenging as it may be, is one of the most powerful opportunities for transformation I have encountered. Add awareness and inquiry to the equation, and what an invitation this is into greater consciousness. Let us exorcise the demons!

That which is to give light must endure burning

Walking through the fire
here,
where all rises to the surface quickly.

Reaction, imbalance, irritation,
This heat brings everything up for us to look at.

Some days I’ve battled wanting to know
Wanting to know where my home is
Where it is that I can root down, build, grow and play

Walking through the fire,
I practice patience, stillness, and presence.



The monsoons are coming
The river will rise

I sit silent under the moon
Barn owls fly overhead
Not only at night but in the day too
Crying their cries of flight and sky

One lights in branches above me
I beneath her
Feeling this earth below me

How I know myself and still forget sometimes,
Then remember again
Is how I am learning to fly

I am

Loving here,
this dry desert land ancient and majestic

I am
Engulfed nightly in the expanse of this southern sky backlit
by the brilliance of the sinking sun

All 360 degrees wide open and
Thirty seven thousand hues of blue to violet to crimson:
radiant

I am
Loving, loving, loving myself

I am
practicing all the yogic ninja training tricks I know
in the morning cool

I am
understanding siesta: jumping in the water,
wrapping myself in a wet shawl,
reading, writing, crafting, napping

I am
Feeling my body, strong and alive
Pulsing alive for this place and time

In my dreaming I had a song stick

I cannot tell you much more about it
I had a stick
And it had song

It was powerful, magic, and beautiful

But I was afraid to use it
I was afraid to be seen

And the song stick withered, broken


From deep down inside me my soul spoke

I wish to sing as if no one were listening
I wish to dance as if no one was watching

Do not be afraid to be seen
Do not be afraid to be heard

Have no fear
Spirit dwell in me

me, the sun, and here

southern new mexico
the gila valley:

after nearly three years of knowing i would come here, i am here.

this is a beautiful desert forest of rolling hills 5,000 feet above the sea

there are barn owls, skunks, 6 inch long lizards with turquoise throats and bellies,

and there are bugs.

there are more grasshoppers and crickets than you can shake a stick at, mosquitoes after dark, and flies of all kinds; most are really interested in diving into any body orifice available.

a tiny one drowned in my eyeball the other day, hurt like hell.

my first three days were a lot of muttering: "why did i come here? it is so fucking hot!" and spending most daylight hours hardly moving except to jump in the irrigation ditch nearby.

now i feel much more myself, though midday is still no time to be doing much.

here is a place of nothing has to be done, do anything.

and, a great wealth of knowledge and experience is available to me.

last night in the setting sun i rode bareback and barefoot on a mama burro through the wilderness behind the land where i camp.

i am here, and i am saying yes.

today

my mind was speaking loudly
but my heart and body and soul adamantly refused to listen

this, however, led to a standstill in any plans i thought i had today

instead: bathing, self care, self affection and quiet
rest and renew, taking space

now i am here in full again, opening my back with a yoga ball

just this

breathe
be still
listen
watch
hear
taste
smell
feel
give thanks
pray
trust

just this moment
sky turn to dusk

i give thanks
i give thanks
i give thanks

tangelo

sweet
tangy
crush an ant on the letter g. as i type

i love the hollow space under your skin where i dig my fingers deep
to split you open